A few days ago my son Ivan celebrated his 5th birthday. The mature age for a man, whatever you may say. Ivan has grown a great guy, especially considering that he is surrounded by three sisters, one of which is 3 years older than he is, while the other two, twins, – are 2 years younger him. His steadfast temper, the ability to not to hear the screams and his kind heart are the main things that help him a lot intra vitam. In general, we have to trust one wise man who said that all tortures and non-fatal injuries make us stronger… but maybe a little limping.
Well, the author need so long preface to admire his son-tomboy as a mother. Because it wasn’t easy for me to accept the fact of my second child’s birth. Of course, the previous nine months I guessed about it. But the child birth always tests your nerves, whether it’s your first-born or eighth baby. Simply the degree of your “wow!” delight is reduced to a little crooked smile in time, that’s all.
With that smile I rejected any ideas of buying a baby carriage. With my first child we passed all the stages from “we’ll buy a pram from Germany” and “I’m going to run with it every morning” to “stuff this enormous vehicle somewhere!”. My elder daughter Maria didn’t recognize any baby devices besides the human hands during the first six months of her life. It was very desirable that the owner of them were jumping at the same time.
After that experience I began to look desperately for a baby carrying. And I’ve chosen a sling of course. Well, it’s necessary to note that the universe gave me signs. For example, walking along the Arbat street I met a group of babywearing moms, one of which gave me a brochure about slings. It was Katya Tavrizyan and I’ve never seen her since that time in my life. But it doesn’t prevent me to thank her with all my heart. I studied that brochure from cover to cover, clicked on the links on the internet … and got into a whole new world. That world was full of special slang talks, elations and tragedies, strange home photos and the Ellevill professional photo shoots.
I wouldn’t like to tell you the story of my stash, it’s pretty boring, believe me. Cause I always emphasize only two main things in the babywearing: a child and a communication. As we all know a sling gives safety, comfort and ideal conditions for the so-called “tame” kids. And also it gives you support from the babywearing women all over the world who don’t know anything about you except that you need their support.
Women’s community has a great power that can help you in your mother’s loneliness. When all you want is to sleep 40 hours or just not to move, a dozen of supporting comments and a couple of SMS can work wonders. Certainly, psychologists can explain the phenomenon of atomization, family separation, worsening and loss of the close relationships. But can they understand why these relationships suddenly arise between strangers? What theories explain them? And, frankly, who cares? Exactly, it’s not you when your baby is crying, spattering walls with spittle, and licking the father’s shoes. “It’s just a teeth trouble” – you read in the comments of your panic post in the community. Oh, yes, of course, just teeth. And your scare climbs down like a shadow from the top of the mountain at dawn.
It’s the main point behind the majority of posts in the babywearing communities and groups. The feeling of fellowship, reliability, adoption and support mean a lot. And a little bit of pure enjoyment of the cozy world of wraps, children, beauty and gossip that also are very important for us.
My five years babywearing has made me a present of a friendship with a lot of beautiful women, worthy of respect and admiration. I’ve learnt to be better, smarter and deeper with them. They’ve showed me an example of true love and devotion, full of strength and dignity.
My life has irrevocably changed (I has written this article and you see it, don’t you?) and I think it changed forever. Children always change our lives. But some children change it in a special way.
Thank you, my dear son, that I have you!
Author: Nina Arkhipova.
Pictures: Nina Arkhipova, Elena Moskaleva.